How Your Insecurities Can Hurt Others
In the Breaking Free from Insecurity message in two parts, I did not mention one of the most serious effects of insecurity that leaks out on others. It takes place when our insecurities cause us to tear someone else down so that we feel better about us. This is the presentation problem at least. People love tearing down those who are intelligent, pretty, skinny, and various other preferable states of being. All of this reveals the insidious nature of insecurity; that we will do anything to be rid of it, and sometimes in our quest to be rid of it we envy those who posses the qualities that we think will kill it.
I have recently been privy to a conversation between a couple of people where they chose to tear down someone who possessed a quality that they envy. I sat there, vexed in my spirit and irritated that I had not dealt with this in the message series. I tried to stop the conversation, to no avail. Those who chose to slander, did not seem to be fazed, unwilling to see their own insecurities. It blinds you, you see. Insecure people envy the qualities that they are insecure over. Fat people envy those people who are skinny. Average people envy those who are very intelligent. Those without vocal skills envy those who have them. Those who are all thumbs, envy those who are crafty and good with their hands. They couch the things they say out of some righteous sense of that which is good and right, but it is envy and it makes one “green”. People always try to reconcile what they are saying with some righteous virtue, but it is never convincing. It is rationalization, nothing more.
The Bible tells us that envy is an exceedingly wicked quality. It separates people, and even causes some to express the poison of their envy when the object of that envy is absent. I have seen it here and there, and it is rotten. Not saying that I am completely free of it, just discerning enough to know it when I see it.
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Prov. 14:30
For he knew that it was out of envy that they had delivered him up.
Matt. 27:18
These are two appropriate texts when speaking of the envy that insecurity often produces which in turn leads people into gossip and slander. A heart that is content with who they are, and how God has made them, will have a fulness of life in them. While the person who is insecure and envies will often suffer emotional and even physical symptoms because of it. The writer called it a ‘rotting of the bones’. The Matthew text shows us the darkest side of insecurity and envy. The religious elite who had controlling interests in maintaining the respect of the common people, envied Jesus to the point of demanding his crucifixion. He had won the admiration and the love of the people, due to the fact that He actually had their best interests at heart and He chose to heal them, feed them, and encourage them through teaching them about the Kingdom of God. People who envy, almost always show it by speaking slanderously, ‘crucifying’, if you will, those whom they envy through words meant to cast a negative shadow.
So, I just wanted to alert you to this danger, and ask you to apply the gospel to insecurity that produces envy. It is a hideous beast, and we do well to be wary of it.
Comments
I think we all have a tendency to do this. Whether we admit it or not, we all deal with some form of insecurity at some level. It’s part of being human. Defeating those insecurities is empowered by the gospel in our lives. I pray every time I want to “tear” some one down, God will show me my own insecurities.
I agree I think our insecurites can be our own worst enemies in how we deal with our relationships with the people we care about and love. With the power of prayer and strong knowledge in the word we can further overcome these instances of living in the flesh and letting our pride and insecurity get the best of us.
Great observations Coy. It’s a constant battle.
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