Portrait of a Lady

The beautiful lady pictured above at a ladies tea is my mother. I told her that I would always remember her that way, as a beautiful lady. Growing up the youngest of seven children, I was spoiled to have a couple of years when my older siblings were in school in which I had her at home all to myself. I watched her every move with great interest. I thought she was the smartest, sweetest and strongest woman on the face of the earth. My mother always had a smile for me although she could very easily have been a bitter woman.

My mother has lived a hard and difficult life.

She was raised in extreme poverty, by her mother and a cruel stepfather. She married right out of high school to my father. She experienced years of physical abuse at his hands. She always made sure that we were out of harm’s way and tried to hide it from us so we would love him, but we always knew what was going on. Though she experienced pure hell at times, she never raised her voice and never fought back.

She lost three close family members, including a brother, to the war in Vietnam. She had a baby who only lived for 24 short hours. She lost her mother to cancer. Shortly thereafter, one of her sons was killed in an accident. Her home burned down right before her eyes.

My mother knows pain and suffering, yet she has a strength that is beyond understanding. God is the source of that strength. His grace and mercy is the reason she has such a beautiful heart.

My mother has taught me many things, not the least of which is that being a lady comes from within. It is important how we carry ourselves. Are we being classy or racy? Are we speaking kind words filled with compassion, or are we gossiping and demeaning one another? Are we patient and loving towards our children or quick tempered and hurtful?  Do we have a submissive spirit or are we bossy and domineering? Do we fear the Lord and follow His way or do we rebel and make our own way?

God’s word tells us that women were created to fill a very important role.

Genesis 2:18
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him”.

Genesis 3:20
The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.

Adam could not go it alone so God created Eve to be his helper; women are created to be a helpmate to their husbands. Eve is the mother of all living; God has entrusted  women with the sacred task of continuing Eve’s calling of motherhood.

I told my mother’s story simply to allow for the understanding that even in a life filled with adversity, you can be who God has designed you to be. I am not advocating staying in an abusive relationship. I am saying that whatever your circumstances, God can use it for good if you are willing to follow Him. My mother could have taught her children to hate their father for what he did all those years. She could have taught her daughters to hate men or be staunch feminists, but she didn’t. Instead, she taught us to love. She is the most selfless person I have ever known. She loved her husband despite his abusiveness. She nurtured and cared for her children through great despair. She was self-controlled, modest and kind.

Titus 2:3-5
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

These are the traits I prayerfully plan to model for my own daughter. I am pretty sure she will be watching. I hope that the portrait I produce in her mind is Godly.

Recommendation: For those of you raising daughters, please consider reading Your Girl by Vicki Courtney. According to Courtney, we are in a war for our daughters’ minds, bodies and souls. This book is a great encouragement for mothers to rely on God’s Word when passing down godly attributes such a worth, modesty and purity.

About

We are a new church plant on the west side of Atlanta in the Austell and Mableton area. At the Journey, we are trying to re-form the church around the teachings and example of Jesus Himself while building relational bridges to people in the current culture. Out with the self-righteous, judgmental attitudes and the useless religious traditionalism, and in with the fresh wind of the timeless teachings of love and forgiveness, acceptance and repentance. Come and find a home at The Journey.